i am so bloody tired.

i forgot about the rant post. oh nevermind.

Anyhow, we had our video shoot today. We don't have a name for the video yet though. Only four of us came, and one didn't. Excuses excuses excuses, what more can you give? If there was a peer assessment, you'll die. Oooookay, the cast were really good though, their acting was superb. Haha, Melanie, Sam and I got a shock. Some parts were freaking hilarious too. Ahh, all went well but the bloody sun wouldn't go away.. So I wasn't that keen on doing anything other that recording times. Which ISN'T my part to do at all, but since a certain someone didn't come and didn't even bother to contact us back, I had to do the job instead. Well, I don't mind so its alright. We'll probably have another shoot next weekend, meaning 8am again in the morning? Hm, I'll wake up somehow.

Now the next thing for me to worry is the individual project on interface design, every module I get this. For every module, a lecturer will ask for sketches of the layout, the theme and what have you. The thing is that I don't do developments, once I have a fixed idea, it is fixed and my brain doesn't want to develop the idea any further. Blame the brain. Blame the brain! Anyhow, I don't dislike this project as much as the others though, but I hate the theme thing, the bloody endless sketches and some other stuff. Would anyone like to enlighten me on how to design a sitemap when we haven't even confirmed what links we want to put? I wouldn't have thought of that till Melanie said so. Which is true.

I hate this! I hate presentations. I don't like to do things that I do not like to do. Presentations are so not me. But I think I'll be fine if I have a script or something though. School is driving me mad. This is not normal.

Z_Z

Another thing. I want to die early. Hahaha, are you laughing? I'm just wondering why aren't there any cars hitting me. Everyday for 11 years I've been J-walking, and none of the cars come close. I've also been thinking about what I would be in the future, but nothing comes to me.

And I also discovered I'm good at nothing too. When I think "Hey, I might be good in this!", there comes along another person who's even better. Argh, fuck you shit. Go and die, and stop making my life miserable. I'm convinced and believe that there will always be another person out there to put me down. Sad fate, sad life, sad death? I doesn't happen once, it happens more often than you think. I wonder where all these people get this putting-down-others skill from. Its bloody in born. How they can make people feel that way is disgusting. Maybe I do that too? I don't know. Why I do that is probably because people are doing the same to me. Haha.

Every hour, every minute and every second is becoming worse.
I'm just waiting for the end to come.












I am not emo.